Right here’s a set of phrases I didn’t have on my 2022 Bingo board: Octogenarian Martha Stewart strips down to simply an apron to hawk Inexperienced Mountain Espresso Roasters pumpkin spice pods.

I’ll allow you to sit with that for a second.

The brand new advert marketing campaign was shared by Stewart final week by way of Instagram, and we’ve questions. The Martha Stewart as model ambassador components is smart. She has been a tastemaker within the homewares and kitchen division for many years now. However why solely an apron? Only for the throwaway puns? I imply, hear, if I look that good at 81—at any age actually—I’d already be banned from each Williams-Sonoma inside a 100-mile radius for my apron-only buying coverage. However does it assist promote pumpkin spice espresso capsules? What extra market share is Inexperienced Mountain capturing as a result of Martha goes sans-cozy sweater?

These are all questions I can not reply, so as a substitute, I depart you with the transcript for Martha Stewart’s new advert marketing campaign. And should you, for no matter motive, end up jonesing for a naturally-flavored Inexperienced Mountain pumpkin spice pod, they’re out there now on-line or wherever capsules are bought.

“Oh… hello there. I’m simply having fun with the pure taste of pumpkin spice from Inexperienced Mountain Espresso Roasters and nothing else… actually.

Simply take a look at this: a factor of pure magnificence. No, no, no, not me! My Inexperienced Mountain Espresso Roasters pumpkin spice espresso.

It’s made with pure flavors; which means they’ve stripped away the substitute and left nothing however goodness. What can I say? We’ve rather a lot in widespread.”

Zac Cadwalader is the managing editor at Sprudge Media Community and a workers author primarily based in Dallas. Learn extra Zac Cadwalader on Sprudge.