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Pricey Abby: Money-strapped boyfriend balks at paying for girlfriend’s sizable birthday dinner

DEAR ABBY: Yearly my girlfriend and I take one another out for dinner on our birthdays and produce a present. This 12 months, despite the fact that I’m at present experiencing monetary hardship, I purchased her a present and provided her dinner.

On the restaurant, she ordered the most important portion of what she wished. She said it’s what she all the time orders in that restaurant. I responded that she all the time takes half of it residence, and that I had provided to purchase her dinner for that night time, not for 2 days. She acquired very indignant and stated I used to be ruining her birthday.

She then stated she’d pay for her personal meal. I declined her provide and paid, however now I’m questioning if I used to be incorrect. She did pay for half the appetizer, which I didn’t need or eat, and she or he left the tip. Ought to have instructed her earlier than we went out to dinner that I used to be on a tighter price range? Can our relationship be saved? — LOSING IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR LOSING: Sturdy relationships thrive when there’s sincere communication. You and the Birthday Lady have been seeing one another for an prolonged time frame. If cash is tight, you need to have talked about it lengthy earlier than her birthday rolled round. Sure, she ought to have been conscious of it earlier than you invited her to dinner. As a result of she wasn’t, I can perceive why she might need been postpone by what she could have interpreted as a snide remark slightly than a cry for assist. Can your relationship be saved? Sure, so long as you two REALLY begin speaking to one another.

DEAR ABBY: I’m in my early 40s. I’ve reconnected with a lady I dated in highschool. Issues are great. I’ve come to know that she was “wronged” by different males greater than as soon as within the years in between. However I’ve additionally discovered it was occurring throughout our relationship as teenagers. I can’t cease ripping myself in half for not realizing it was occurring and doing nothing to cease it. I wasn’t broken; she was.

I’m hesitant to do something that makes her revisit her ache, however it’s one thing I can’t let go of. I’m not certain how I ought to proceed within the current, in order that I don’t let the previous injury a future that appears so vibrant. Might you please give me a girl’s perspective? — CAUTIOUS IN MICHIGAN

DEAR CAUTIOUS: Perceive that you simply and this girl have been very completely different individuals once you dated greater than 20 years in the past. I think my perspective is much like what you’d get from a person: For those who plan to proceed with this romance, the 2 of you need to get no less than six months of {couples} counseling from a licensed skilled.

Lots has occurred to you each within the intervening years since highschool. There was nothing you possibly can do to cease something that occurred. She was a keen participant in these failed relationships. Your future along with her shall be brighter as soon as you realize one another higher as adults, which can contain frank communication on each of your elements.

Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.



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