DEAR ABBY: I’ve a very good, if not terribly shut, relationship with my grownup son and daughter. We communicate each few weeks. They dwell a ways away. There’s no drama, no destructive angst between us.
My husband and I’ll quickly be celebrating our sixtieth wedding ceremony anniversary. Neither our son nor our daughter has acknowledged the event nor requested if we want to have fun it. I assume they’re by some means unaware of this milestone.
Ought to I contact them about it? It’s not like we’re incommunicado or estranged, as a result of we’re not. This anniversary is a BIG deal to us, but they appear unaware. I’m blaming myself by some means. Their father has been handled for most cancers and is, luckily, deemed cancer-free now. What’s your recommendation? — READY TO CELEBRATE IN FLORIDA
DEAR READY: Your son and daughter could also be so wrapped up in themselves and their very own lives that it hasn’t occurred to them to volunteer to host one thing or ask what you and their father would really like. Name them and lift the topic. They could be ready to be instructed what, if something, you’ve got deliberate for the event. If they aren’t out there, don’t let that cease you from having the celebration the event deserves.
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend broke up with me. After just a few weeks, I used to be OK with it. Then he wished to go to me, however I used to be busy that day and, fact be instructed, I didn’t wish to see him. I used to be going to hang around with a man pal when my ex confirmed up though I had instructed him to not.
Once I went out with my pal, my ex couldn’t go in my home as a result of I didn’t need him there if I wasn’t there. Once I returned dwelling, my ex was mad that we went out to eat and didn’t get him something. Was I supposed to purchase him meals if I didn’t even need him there to start with? This occurred months in the past and I’m nonetheless livid. — DEE IN NEW YORK
DEAR DEE: Being livid is a waste of your time and power. That your former boyfriend would drive himself on you despite having been instructed he was unwelcome was impolite and boorish. You probably did precisely the appropriate factor by not permitting him to insert himself into your plans. I hope you at the moment are rid of him. If he retains it up, it may very well be thought of borderline stalking.
DEAR ABBY: I lately returned from an annual women journey with my retired academics group. All of us get alongside properly and luxuriate in one another’s firm apart from one “fly within the ointment” who refuses to go away first rate ideas for nice restaurant service. I’m speaking about $2 on a $20 tab. All of us pay our personal payments and tip 25% or extra each time. We’ve talked about the topic of tipping to her earlier than. She says she thinks it’s a “racket.” Is there something we will do? — CHEAPSKATE’S FRIEND
DEAR FRIEND: The annual women journey could also be this girl’s solely splurge for the yr, which can be why she’s conservative in terms of tipping. I’ll assume that you simply and the others have spoken to her concerning the wage scale for restaurant servers, and the truth that lots of them must share their ideas with different employees. As a result of there’s nothing you are able to do to vary the conduct of one other grownup, both think about your individual beneficiant ideas as balancing out her stingy ones or cease together with her as a result of she’s a humiliation.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.